where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize