Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
