i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize