did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize