i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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