weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
