We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.