This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
