I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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