She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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