Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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