Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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