I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
