life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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