I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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