you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize