Yo dont text me then not text me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
