can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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