I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
