so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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