Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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