cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize