Don't you send me to vm
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
