becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
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He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Watching her eat just hurts me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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