i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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