Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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