I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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