I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
