so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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