i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
