I want to walk on stilts...naked
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
