She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So vagazzling was a success
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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