Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
