how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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