Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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