you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
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He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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