OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
