I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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