My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
