I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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