I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize