After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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