So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
