the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
