You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
