i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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