he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize