my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
