Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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