the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
