oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
