so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
