I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it glows. i had to have it.
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And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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