His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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