I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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